David Joel
Posted Dec 11, 2020
at 11:45am
Elementary school in the late 1960’s invaded my already traumatized young life. Having spent my formative years from age 3-5 mostly immobilized in half-body casts and braces, I had pretty much retreated to my own little fantasy world. By the time I entered first grade the physical supports were gone but I was far too emotionally immature for school. The immaturity was compounded by learning disabilities that in the late 1960’s were not understood. I couldn’t read. I couldn’t write. I didn’t understand instruction. By age 10 I still didn’t know how to decode the shapes that I was told were letters constituting an alphabet that when assembled in various orders revealed thoughts, ideas, stories, etc. I got by without being left back because my mother advocated for me and I was able to memorize stories that were read out loud, confounding the teachers and administrators who wanted to classify me as slow. Still, I didn’t want to be in school. I felt ignorant and absolutely hated the experience. My mother had become the president of the PTA and she petitioned to have MR. O’Connor be my fifth grade teacher. It was 1973, I think it was either the first year that OC (as we affectionately called him) was asked to teach fifth grade or perhaps it was the first year that he would be dealing with a mixed group of students, all functioning at very different levels. That same year, with my mother’s urging, a reading specialist, discovered my learning disabilities and I began seeing Dr. Melvin Kaplan who used prisms and eye exercises to manage perceptual problems that today might be called Dyslexia combined with other issues that today might place me somewhere on the “spectrum”. (Spoiler alert: we are all somewhere on the spectrum). Dr. Kaplan’s groundbreaking work opened up my world and I began to see and act very differently. I went from being shy and withdrawn, unable to read and write to a hyperactive extrovert finally able to decode the shapes of the alphabet (albeit on a very rudimentary level even for elementary school) and it all took place in fifth grade, mostly under the tutelage and care provided by Mr. O’Connor.
One day on the playground my hyperactivity landed me in a bit of trouble. It was something quite harmless. I was being overly rambunctious or something and OC (who if I haven’t made it clear yet, was my idol) well, he felt compelled to give me some sort of punishment for my playground behavior. So he made me stay after class and copy by hand a paragraph from a book. Prior to this moment, my writing was illegible and I hadn’t seen any changes but OC said to do it, so I did. When I finished copying the paragraph, I looked at my penmanship and it was perfect! Something had changed. All the exercises with Kaplan worked. My penmanship was exquisite and this was the moment when I recognized it. I was so excited I showed OC. We were both so happy. He was patting me on the back. We were celebrating. It was a joyous moment shared between us for several minutes until suddenly OC stopped. His big grin quickly shrank to serious and in a very calm but semi stern tone, he looked at me and said, “David, this is very good but remember, this is punishment for your behavior on the playground. So let’s not forget that.” I had so much respect for him; I calmed down long enough to set the paper back on the desk. I looked OC in the eyes and said, “I know, I know…” But then I quickly picked up the paper again where I began waving it around and shouting “but look, Look, LOOK!” At which point we both started celebrating again.
School began for me with Mr. O’Connor. He was sensitive and strong, caring and kind. He was so kind. I don’t know if there is anything more valuable in the world than learning the lessons of kindness. Mr. O’Connor was the master of this education. It was because of him that I was able to feel confident to go on in school. I loved that man! I didn’t have another teacher that made such an impact until my art teacher in High school. Mr. O’Connor and then later Mr. Carozza, were the only teachers that ever were able to get through to me. Today I am an artist and a writer. I’m also the executive director for an Artist’s Foundation. Nothing of who I have become would be the same without without OC’s input, education, and care. I want to extend my deepest condolences to the family and let everyone know how very special and vitally important Ed O’Connor’s life and work was to me and I’m certain to countless others! With Sorrow and Love, David (David Joel: Email: drdavinci@aol.com)
